Awko Taco: A Guide to Eating in Social Situations

Before I was diagnosed with Celiac, I paid no heed to the food allergies/intolerances/preferences of others.  I got a little taste of a restricted diet when I had to be on a dairy-free diet in order to feed my older daughter.  I remember being so miserable and wishing away the time until I could eat dairy again.  I was pretty laissez fair about other people's needs.  I remember trying to plan the menu for my 10 year high school reunion when one of my classmates asked if we would have gluten free food available for people who might need it.  At the time, I just thought "well if someone has a food allergy, it's up to them to figure it out," added some bacon wrapped scallops to the menu, and my job was done.  When I think about it, I was being a bit insensitive.  It was partially because I didn't know better, I was not well-informed.  I also did not think it was a prevalent issue because I hadn't known anyone with a food allergy/intolerance before.

I didn't realize that there are so many factors that go into a restricted diet--it's not just the food itself, but how it's prepared.  For example, gluten free corn tortilla chips are great, but if they've been fried in oil that also cooked chicken tenders, onion rings, and jalapeno poppers, then they are gluten-full and contaminated.  Every Celiac has a different level of tolerance for contamination.  There is a lot of talk out there of how many ppm (parts per million) of gluten an individual can tolerate and it's said that the longer you are on a gluten free diet, the more severe the reaction you have when you do consume gluten.  You can't just "have a salad and pick the croutons off" or "scrape the chicken salad out of the roll" at a social event.  Things have to be neat, tidy, clean, and completely gluten free.

What's exhausting is that many people (as I was) are uninformed on what an autoimmune illness is.  The basic definition?  The body attacks itself as a result of some external or internal trigger. Celiac disease is an autoimmune illness.  If exposed to gluten, my body creates antibodies that respond by killing and flattening the tiny villi in my intestines, making digestion painful and uncomfortable and if it goes on for long enough it can cause malnutrition.

http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/celiac/

Autoimmune thyroid issues also run rampant in my family and through research I have learned that autoimmune diseases travel together.  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis in my early 20's.  This means that my body produces antibodies that attack my thyroid hormones.  The solution to that is simple...take a tiny pill for the rest of my life, no problem.  For some, autoimmune diseases are much more complicated.  Lupus, Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Graves disease, and Multiple Sclerosis are all examples of autoimmune disorders.  Many of these autoimmune disorders are more common in women than in men, with some of them occurring exclusively in women. 

The reason I'm giving you a science lesson about autoimmune disorders?  Because Celiac isn't an intolerance.  I don't just "get a little sick" when I eat gluten.  To be honest...nowadays my stomach aches and bloats to the point I can barely stand up straight and NOTHING is normal again for at least a week after getting "glutened."  Eating gluten does damage to my body, to my intestines, and I cannot take it lightly.  My goal is to avoid any long term damage to my bodily organs, I would think others would have a similar goal.

Socializing as a Celiac is hard and it sucks.  I don't know how else to describe it. I will talk about restaurants in another post, but for now, I'm sticking with social occasions like weddings and parties and birthdays and showers.  Pot lucks and work functions aren't any better.  I've mentioned before that I love food.  My husband, family, and children love food.  It's the main way we socialize, and before I was diagnosed it was no big deal.  I was more worried about how I could maintain a healthy diet at a summer barbeque or Christmas party.  Now I find comfort in the veggie platters and chip bowls (if they exist).

I will say first and foremost that I do not expect people to accommodate me and my diet.  The old me would not have done it for others, so I do not expect that they would do it for me.  I would just like to share some pointers/survival skills that have helped me recently so that you as a host or you as a guest can feel comfortable and nourished in a social situation.

1. BYO or bring something to share.  I delight in bringing gluten free items to social occasions so that I can share delicious food with people.  "Can you believe that's gluten free?  It's delicious isn't it!?"  I've also packed my own food if I'm not sure of the menu.  On my first day of work last year, (I'm a teacher, so there are always muffins, pastries, and more at the first in-service day) I brought my own corn muffins. I could sit and socialize with friends and not look awkward and hungry as I pecked at fruit salad.  I went to a party just this weekend and I packed some snacks like hummus, lentil crackers, grapes, and popcorn.  It's a little extra effort, but worth it to avoid hunger.

2. Eat what you can.  At any function, my eyes are the first to spot the chip bowl or the veggie platter.  Those are typically good gluten free options.  The former isn't always healthy, but you can make up for it with the latter.  Many chips and dips are gluten free and are safe.  Cheese is great too, but I would not eat it if it was sitting anywhere near the crackers.  I recently attended a social occasion at someone's house where the only thing I could eat was a fruit salad.  Everyone kept asking me if I had eaten, and they told me to make sure I ate, especially since they knew I was nursing a small baby.  I just kept nodding and eating fruit salad and avoiding the issue.  It's taken awhile (and I'm not sure I'm there yet) to come to grips with the fact that for the most part, I can't eat cake at birthday parties and weddings.  I have an unhealthy obsession with cake of all kinds and I'm trying my best to try every gluten free cake or cupcake I come across in order to feed my addiction.  (Kudos to my sister for ordering some GF cupcakes at her upcoming October wedding).

3. Inform the host.  Not in an offensive or overbearing way, but speak your mind if asked. I attended a wedding last fall and on the reply card it asked about dietary restrictions.  I said "gluten free" figuring that I may not have a choice and I may have to survive on crudites.  Much to my surprise and delight, the menu was almost entirely gluten free and prepared by a caterer well versed in the likes of wheat-less cuisine.  Pulled pork, cold rice salads, and grilled chicken were the highlight of the menu for me.  It turns out I wasn't the only one there concerned with my gluten intake. There were even gluten free cupcakes in their own little spot on the dessert table.  It was easily the best social occasion I've ever dined at.

For holidays, my mother and mother-in-law always make sure I can eat something, often making a special gluten free version of a dish just so that I can partake and not feel uncomfortable.  If you come to my house for a social event, you will see gluten-full and gluten free foods.  I live with people in my house that can tolerate wheat and have not had issues or been diagnosed with Celiac.  I am careful with how I prepare meals, but I recognize that not everyone wants to eat gluten free.

4. It's not about being picky, it's about being healthy.  I love all kinds of food.  I'm generally not picky, but when someone accuses me of being this way, I get offended.  I just want to be healthy and not feel sick.  I need to feel good in order to be sociable.  I need to feel good in order to be a good mom, wife, and friend.  I want to live for a long time and I don't eat gluten because my body reacts poorly to it.  Be supportive of your gluten free friends and understand that while their requests and questions may be annoying and confusing, they do it for a reason.  I'd love to dig into a plate of nachos without asking questions but I can't, so I ask the questions and do my own investigative research.

It is possible to eat gluten free and be social, but being a kind host and a gracious guest is essential in making everyone happy and keeping everyone healthy.

**I have to give credit to some of my former students for introducing me to the phrase "awko taco."  At the time, I thought it was a silly way to say that something was awkward, but now I find it kind of describes how awkward it can be for a Celiac in a social eating situation.**